The Shining

********the shining************
The veil is gone
the pain is down
sown are the seeds
of a new life.

black been the colour
of my world till now
white is the heart of the man
who gave this glow.

finding my way home
with sure steps
my eyes do roam
for some starry gaze.

the ways of the world
wicked at best
fed before my eyes
like a showreel burst.

the sounds felt better
in my bygone dark era.
the scenes too much to bear,
in this colourful cursed world.

filled with envy
for that blind old man.
feasting on life,
like what I did yesterday.

I got this yesterday when I wrote things in my old hard disk of my home computer into some dvds. First time I looked at this, I was wondering whether I wrote this because I was not even getting an idea of what the hell these lines are all about. Then I gave it another reading yesterday evening. That was when it struck me that afterall it was me only who wrote this. This is about a man who he's seeing the world for the first time after he got his eyesight, thanks to a man who had donated his eyes before his death. The sights that he get to see in this bad mad world makes him think that life was better without eyes.

I guess this went to the band's dustbin. Maybe, that's why even I forgot about this.

photo courtesy-http://www.caseresources.org/evangelisation/images/eyes.jpg

PS- Heading to Goa morrow. Old collegemates will touch down there from different parts of the country. Its gonna be a jolly good weekend. It already had a good start today with 'Dasvidaniya'. Had some tears on my eyes after watching that. Wish you all a happy weekend. See you on Tuesday.

No poverty, No opinion?

Its been an opinion which is gaining quite a few takers in recent times. The opinion in question is this-"If you have never known poverty and if you are one of those sitting in an AC room, you are not supposed to voice your opinion." Yes, its an opinion about opinion. I've received some mails and comments calling me an 'arm chair critic', 'moron voicing his opinion from a locked room', 'pseudo intellectual from an AC room' etc. (There are some more which are not appropriate to type out here) Sadly for them, am not any of these. Am just a common guy voicing my thoughts on what is going on around me. And these kind of words just don't have any effect on me. All I can say is 'Keep 'em coming, I don't care'.

The basis of this 'opinion of the non-poverty group doesn't matter' philosophy is a simple one- being born without poverty is a crime. If you have a job in a company, that makes matters worse. You are supposed to seal your lips with a cellophane tape. With the above credentials(a job and absence of poverty), try voicing your opinion on some matter related to India. Chances are high that you'll be dismissed as a'pseudo patriot'. 

May I ask these enlightened souls this- 'What has your social status or bank balance or the amount of food in your plate, got to do with your opinion? Don't people who are free from poverty have the freedom to voice their opinion? Is it someone's fault that they are not born poor?' Your opinion depends on the state of your mind only. A poor kid's opinion on some matter wont change much even if one day he reaches a position where he has a big belly. Please flush out that idea co-relating right to opinion with matters such as food and poverty.  Imagine a country where there are no poor people. Won't that end up as a country without any opinion at all?

PS- This is not directed at any particular individual. This is just what I been observing for a long time at several places.

photo courtesy-urbandecals.com

Pick This Flick 10- Sadayam

Mohanlal, an actor of unparalleled brilliance in world cinema. We all have our own favourite roles of this man. And his roles in films like Kireedom, Bharatham, Chitram etc will be in most of those lists. But, there is one film which doesn't find mention as often as it deserves-Sadayam. After years of watching Mohanlal and most of his movies(don't count the trash he's acting in off-late), his performance in the movie Sadayam has remained a top favourite of mine.

Directed by Sibi Malayail, Sadayam is a deeply disturbing film. It starts off with the sounding of a verdict on a high profile case of a man killing 4 people including 2 minors. He's sentenced to be hanged till death. The convict, played by Mohanlal is taken to the central jail. For the first 20 minutes of the movie, he doesn't speak a word. But he conveys a hell lot with just his expressions alone. With just a tilt of his head or a deep look with his eyes, he speaks a thousand words. You will get confused on what he's really thinking inside, the brutal happiness of a seasoned killer or repentance of having committed a crime. And this is at the start of the movie, when you don't know the nature of the crime he did or the situation in which he committed it.

caution-small spoiler alert...but this wont spoil the movie experience..
Mohanlal plays Satyanath, an orphan who is a very good painter. Nedumudi Venu, his care taker lands him a job with a small advertising company. In his locality, 2 prostitutes are also staying. He's concerned about the 2 little girls and their elder sister staying along with their prostitute aunts. He helps the kids in their education and also helps the elder sister to land a job in the company in which he's working. But circumstances forces this girl to end up as a prostitute. Satyanath kills both the guys responsible for her state. Then he proceeds to kill the 2 little girls also, possibly to save them from prostitution.
spoiler over

The story by M.T.Vasudevan Nair is depressing, but its a refreshing change. Same goes with the eerie background score by Johnson. But what really catapults this movie to the league of a classic is Mohanlal's incomparable acting in the scene were he kills the girls. I still rememeber watching this scene some years back, when I was in school. The expressions that comes on his face and that controlled dialogue delivery team up to give you a scary experience. The way he moves that pointed blood stained knife over an unfinished canvas and the slightly smiling face that he puts up is enough to shock you. He just blazes through this role like an epitome of acting perfection. Am sure, no other actor would've done justice to this role, in the way Lal has done. Don't see this as the ramblings of a blind fan. You wont believe it until you see it.

Another actor who makes this film worthier is Thilakan, playing the role of a doctor who comes to check the health of Mohanlal in jail. He opts for the post to oversee the proceedings of Satyanath's death sentence. He finds this as a way to avenge his son's death(one of Satyanath's 4 victims and the reason for the girl becoming a prostitute). During the first half, he's picturised as a ruthless cruel man who is hell bent on seeing his enemy's blood. But during the second half, when he learns the actual truth of why Satyanath killed his son, a big transformation happens in him. He wants to save Satyanath somehow. Thilakan has portrayed these different shades brilliantly.

Altogether, this is one movie which should be on the 'must see' lists of any serious malayalam movie buff. If you want to see what acting perfection means, then you dare n't miss this.

your crusader Praveen

Jason Becker:Defeating paralysis

It was the world disability day yesterday. And there was this program in my company where we had people with various disabilities performing songs, dances and dramas. I was amazed at the spirit of this people who didn't even give a care to their disabilities. There was one hearing impaired dancer, who danced perfectly to the tunes of Rahman's "Dheem tara". He just had to get a signal from one of his friends to indicate the start of the music. Then, there was a group dance by a team comprising of normal as well as disabled people. And not once could we find out who was the disabled one among the lot.

a young Jason, before tragedy struck

This brings me to the case of one man who has inspired me like no other. His name is Jason Becker, a 39 year old American guitarist. You may ask, now whats the big deal! Brace yourself. This is real big deal. He became a guitarist par excellence at the tender age of 13. He started his rock guitaring career as a partner of the great old megadeth lead man Marty Friedman. They started a band called 'cacophony' with limited success. But, the world came to know of the untamed brilliance of young Jason. At this time, he also played with another band too. Coupled with that, his solo career was starting to bloom. Around that time, he began feeling a little powerless. He could feel his body giving in sometimes and he had to get a remodified guitar to adjust with this condition. Still, he completed his debut album. Then the unthinkable happened. He was diagonised with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, the same motor neuron disease which affected the brilliant physicist Stephen Hawking. He was paralysed and his future dreams with his guitar were shattered. Soon he lost his ability to speak and doctors gave him 3 more years to live.

the smile that defeated paralysis

Till this the story is normal like many others. Its in how he dealt with this tragedy that makes Jason Becker stand out as one of the greatest examples of the triumph of human spirit. At the start he could slightly move his head. And his friend developed a technique by which the movement of his head could be translated as notes into a system controlled by a computer. Its amazing that he created big musical pieces note by note perfectly just from his memory. As the condition worsened he was left in a state where he could move just his eyes. Still he and his family was not ready to give up. His father came up with an idea to convert the movement of his eyes into each letter of the english alphabet. With this, Jason continues to communicate with others as well as compose music. Yes, composing music just with his eyes, the only part left in his body which he can move freely. In his documentary, you can always see a faint smile on his face. It takes courage and an undying spirit to smile like that in the face of adversity. And it is these very own qualities, which still keeps him alive, 15 long years after the death date set by his doctors.

Its when we see things like this that we realise how much we are under utilising our potential. I saw this documentary about 3 years back. Even now, when I get ill and think that I can't do anything, this man's story come to my mind. Don't we all have that feeling of 'Its not possible' whenever we are faced with a slight obstacle. In those moments think about this man. It can really make a difference.

The Jason Becker Documentary-Must see

PS- Jason Becker has said in an interview that the Indian yogi Paramahamsa Yogananda's 'Autobiography of a Yogi' has inspired him a lot during this tragedy. Thats how I read this amazing book. Though there are some incidents which are hard to believe in the book, its worth a read.

PPS-Leaving home for a short visit of 2 days to attend a marriage. Wish you all a happy weekend.

your crusader Praveen

The Value of money

It was the 20th of this month and I had just 600 rupees in my hand, to spend for the rest of the month. No, It was not a result of some hi-fi spending spree. I had some investment commintments for which I didn't plan out well last month. I was thinking of various possible ways in which I can survive the rest of the month. Thats when, someone send me one of the best forwards I got in recent times. Its a simple video titled "Value of 500 rupees". A select set of people from almost all strata of the soceity is asked one simple question "If I give you 500 bucks, how will you spend it?" You can see the common answers from the Gen-X crowd-Movies, booze, smoke, party. And then there are the downtrodden, the unprivileged class. A lady tells she'll spend it on education for her children and rest she'll save for future. In the next frame you see a man uttering "You can do nothing with 500 rupees". And then a poor kid says "I can take care of our home's expenses, clothes, food etc". See, how perceptions vary. And see, how we take things for granted. We have even someone saying he'll go for a branded underwear. The video ends with a masterclass statement "The price of someone's haircut=The price of someone else's school fees". It says poverty forces 70% of India's children to drop out of school before the secondary level. Aren't we lucky to be among that 30%. Still, why we crib? why we find fault in everything even after life being so kind to us?



This video inspired me no end and gave me the belief that I could safely survive the remaining 10 days of the month with 600 rupees. I realised how much money I wud've wasted if I had more on my hand. Now as I write this on the 27th of Nov, I have 180 rupees left with me, more than enough for me to survive this month. Who said forwards are a waste of time? I just learned a big lesson in life with the help of one.

PS-Wrote this just before the terrorists went on rampage in Mumbai. Was not in a mood to post this for the last 2 days. And yes, as I received my salary yesterday, I still had 40 rupees left with me.

Now tell me friends, what will you do if you get 500 rupees?

Mumbai Meri Jaan: Terrorism Unleashed

Lets play politics
Lets play the blame game
Lets spend time in classifying Hindu and Muslim terrorists
Lets fight our neighbouring states
Lets stand for our Manoos
Lets fight for the in'human' terrorist's 'human' rights
Lets cry foul against the army
Lets call the brave, dead policeman a 'fake encounter specialist'
Lets be hungry for more 'breaking' news
Lets cry and crib as they strike
Lets condemn and then give a damn
Lets be proud that we are 'soft' on our enemies
Lets forget it at all the next day hailing it as the 'spirit'
Lets be responsible journalists giving tips to terrorists
Lets play the politics foul
Lets let the terrorists rule
Lets keep the public fools
Lets close our eyes to the teary pools.

Another day. Another terrorist attack. They've now come in a new avatar. Showing their faces and telling us, "We are not afraid of you". To think that these guys just came coolly in a boat, alighted at the gateway of India and strode through the busy roads before the attack just shock me. Its an irony that the Gateway of India ended up as a gateway for these bloody terrorists. Tomorrow it can happen in my own backyard. The last few days the media as well as the government was focussing on the homegrown terrorists. Political parties were vying with each other to brand them as Hindu and muslim terrorists. Now, today, we saw the faces of terrorism. Who the hell cares if he's a Hindu or Muslim, who the hell cares if he targeted a hindu or muslim. We only know they are inhuman and those who are targeted are mere humans, not the face of any religion.

As I type this, the ordeal in Mumbai's Taj hotel, Nariman house and Oberoi hotel are not yet over. There are explosions being reported every other minute from one of these places. We already have lost some of our finest cops like ATS chief Hemant Karkare, encounter specialist Vijay Salaskar and additional commissioner Ashok Kamte. More than 100 other innocent lives were lost. The sight of the terrorists(am trying hard to keep out the obscene words that are coming to my mouth now) hijacking a police van and driving around terrorizing the maximum city was shocking to say the least. I wonder how these people could carry out this attack so precisely without the intelligence agencies ever getting a clue about this. The amount of the ammunition they possess is just unimaginable. They underlined their lack of humanity with that attack on the hospital.
My heart goes out to the brave men who laid down their lives in defending our nation. Now I really do hope our hallowed 'human rights' activists dont call them fake encounters like they did after the death of Inspector Sharma in the Batla house encounter. Please don't talk again on behalf of the men who took the life of our own brothers and sisters. And atleast give some respect to the men who defend us. My prayers goes out to the families of the 100 human lives which were taken out by these barbarians. Atleast now, yes, atleast now, the Government should show the balls to strike out hard and kill off the terrorists without the farce called a 'fair trail'. Only the fair deserve fairness. The cleaning up has to start now and if some special people taking the high moral ground tries to disrupt this cleansing, we have to wipe them off too. Lets stop being soft. Who cares for the useless "we are a peaceful nation" tag when we have our citizens dying everyday on the road? Burn the tag, stop condemning and do the damn thing.

PS- Where is the caretaker of Mumbai ,Raj thackerey today? Does he and his men act only when people speak hindi in Mumbai? Wont they raise their swords even if 100 Mumbaikars are killed? Where is the 'son of a regionalistic barbarian'? Hiding under his bed? Shivsainiks and MNS guys, if ever one of you happen to read this, this question is for you- why don't you guys just go and hang yourself? Now, you have no right to talk of Mumbai or Mumbaikars.

pic courtesy-smh.com.au, timesofindia.com

your crusader Praveen

Free Spirited and Independent blogger award

Oh God! Another award. This time "Free Spirited and Independent" blogger award presented to me by the ever brilliant english teacher and plogger(poet blogger, a word I coined just now:D ), Usha Pisharody. Thanks a lot for considering me for this prestigious award.
And as with all other awards am supposed to give it to my own favourites. Am giving it to the same set of people to whom I gave the brilliant blogger award and butterfly award earlier. Congo Rats to the winners!

your crusader Praveen

Strawberry Fields-Fields of Sound

Sunday afternoon, I was in a dilemma. The cricket match was going on in TV and the finals of strawberry fields rock fest was to start in a couple of hours. Then, Sachin got out and my last reason to watch the match was also gone. And so I headed straight to National Law School(NLS), Nagarbhavi more than 25 km from my place. I reached there in a breeze, slightly drenched ofcourse. I was surprised to see a college amidst lush greenery. The venue of the fest was still down the road. Honestly it looked like a big clearance in the middle of a forest. It was completely different from the image of the famed strawberry fields that I had formed in my mind. I could hear Pentagram's songs from outside itself. I walked straight in. Thats when the security guys stopped me for some frisking. I emptied all my pockets. And lo! there is a suspicious item. A vicks inhaler key chain that I attached to my house key. They insisted that this cant be allowed inside. Yes, they suspected that I was a drug addict carrying 'the stuff' in an inhaler. I asked one of the guys to just smell and check it. I could see a frightened "No way" look. Then, another brave guy came in, smelled it at an arm's length and confirmed that am clean. The guy who checked me said "sorry mate" with a smile. Well, I did really enjoy that incident.

Once inside, I saw Vishal Dadlani & Co. from Pentagram doing the sound check. There were only a handful of guys at the grounds then. We were treated to 'its electric', 'rock n roll' etc. After that, it was a long excruciating wait for the real show as all the competing bands proceeded with their sound check. I was also waiting for my friends to arrive. This was the 3rd and final day of the 12th edition of 'Strawberry Fields'. The first 2 days had close to 50 bands from all over India playing all day long. 5 bands came out on top. The judging for the prelims was said to be a farce with deserving bands like 'Inner Sanctum' losing out. And this allegation did have some truth as evident from the quality of some of the qualified bands. The concert started 1 hour late at 6 'O' Clock. The first band up was 'Blood and Iron'. Only the drummer Manu was the saving grace of this band. He was at his beastly best behind the not so pretty kit. One song into their show, there was a heavy outpour and half the crowd ran for cover. The rest were seen dancing and headbanging in the rain. Next up was Mumbai band 'Rosemary'. Hearing the name being announced me and my friends looked each other wondering 'what the hell that was?'. But, names do deceive. This band did kick some serious ass with their Nirvana-esque originals. Their sound did really stand out in the evening. Besides their originals, there was a great cover of the Beatles's classic 'Come together'. The audience did come together in singing along the lyrics.

Greyshack-My fav band of the evening

After this fabulous show came in 'Metal Messiah', another bunch of rockers from Mumbai. The guitarists's hairdo was weirdo at best. Another band whose name deceived us. I was wondering how these guys made it to the finals. They had little or no lyrics from what I could make out. The vocals reminded me of a 'seldom biting barking dog'. We spent this unexpected spare time at the 'Rolling stone' magazine stall, where I bought an old issue that I had missed. By that time, the Bangalore band 'Chilli Potato' had taken centrestage. Another band which failed to impress. So we headed to the food stall searching for something to eat, something better than 'chilli potato'. They played a cover of Kannada superstar Rajkumar's classic english song 'If you come today'. The original one was atleast funny but surprisingly this one got some support from the crowd. So, it was time for the last band 'Greyshack'. A bunch of guys sans the metalhead look strode in. The vocalist had the crowd in his pockets from the word go. The guy's energy was infectious and soon the whole crowd joined in jumping and singing. Their original songs were a treat as was the medley of 'beatles' covers like 'Day tripper' and 'Hey Jude'.

Its electric-Pentagram

So, it was time for the big acts of the day to take stage. First up was 'extramentals' from Chennai. They took a long time to set things up. And when it started it was pure mental torture with a girl crooning like pop singers britney, aguilera etc. But the crowd was supporting her just because she made some sexy moves up front. I felt pity for those guitarists and the drummer for having teamed up with this girl. Later, I came to know that this girl was none other than Kamal Haasan's daughter Shruthi Haasan. I just thought of the rave reviews she got in 'rolling stone' mag and other newspapers. I wonder whats the special talent all of them saw in her. So, after being given that extra torture to our whole mental setup, we were craving for 'Pentagram'. But sadly due to some technical glitch, their electronica set couldn't be unleashed yesterday. So, it was Pentagram minus all the loops, stripped down to the basics. So, all of us waiting for the electronica laden 'Its electric' and 'Animal' were a little disappointed. But once the show started it was pure ecstasy. Vishal was attitude personified not letting the technical errors mar the show. There was this sing along thing he came up with "There's no party like the Bangalore party....". About 6 songs into their concert, the police came to play spoilsport. They asked to stop the show at the time was past 10 30. Still, Pentagram sang one more song, the classic anti-reservation anthem 'voice'. It turned out to be a song fitting the moment with lines like 'There are words that must be said, there are words that must be heard....I need a voice now' turning out to be a voice against the negative spirit of the policemen. Once the song was over, the crowd was crying for more but they had to bid goodbye because of the men in khaki. An image that came to my then was of a whole army of policemen watching last week's violence at Chennai law college with hands tied up. Its a pity that they raise their voice and lathis at the wrong place almost all the time.

I need a voice now...Pentagram

The winners pf the competition were announced in the end. Thankfully, the judges picked the best of the evening unlike the prelims. 'Rosemary' walked away with the prize for the best band although I think 'Greyshack' deserved it more. The individual awards were also shared by these 2 bands. Altogether, Strawberry Fields 2008 was a nice experience, though I really expected 'Motherjane' to make an appearance considering the fact that their new song 'Fields of sound' is a tribute to this very festival. This is the place from where India's biggest bands like Motherjane, Junkyard Groove etc began their quest for glory. This indeed is a special festival.

your crusader Praveen

Butterfly Award

I've been conferred with an award- The Butterfly Award for the coolest blogger by Richa as well as Kartz. Thanks a lot to both of you. Its a pleasant surprise and also gave me something to fill up in the blog at this time of a bad writer's block.

I've to pass this award on to my favourite bloggers. Now the rules for passing on this award are:

1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.
3. Link the bloggers whom you wanted to share this award to.

I would like to give this award to all those whom I had previously given the Brilliant blog award.
To that list I would like to add some more names.

1. Usha Pisharody- The english teacher who's making waves in blogosphere with her amazing poetry. And recently she has started writing prose in a separate blog too. More than that she helps me a lot in proof reading my blog and pointing out the mistakes.

2. Chriz- The chronic writer as well as the chronic comedian. He enthralled us all with his awesome witticism. Be it his Marilyn Monroe act or his videos featuring those kids, he has never ceased to entertain.

3. Aayushi- Writings of real depth coming from a young heart.

4. The Army Guy- A really different blogger out there. A battle hardened army guy with his take on life in the battlefield. I wouldn't miss this for even a bullet.

5. Tara - A budding photographer and future film maker.

6. PJ - This is not your normal PJ. This is Priya Joyce, who always brings a smile to everyone's face with some cute real life experiences.

7. Sashu- A blog I started to read quite recently. Checkout some shockingly good poems as well as writeups on both her blogs.

8. Nivedita- Started reading this blog just 2 days back. And the first one I read 'Consistency, thy name is woman', had me hooked that I went on to read some of her old posts also. A really good one there.

Thats enough for now. Congrats to all winners

your crusader Praveen

Pick This Flick 9- Home Run

Its not often that u get to see films as sweet and simple as the Singaporean film 'Homerun'. The film is in chinese language. Its an adaptation of Majid Majidi's Iranian classic 'Children of Heaven'. Am still in search of the Majidi original. Most of the critics have not given a favourable review for 'Homerun'. Its because of the simple fact that its compared to the original. The story revolves around a brother and sister, their shoes and their friends.

Chew Kiat Kun(Shawn Lee) takes his sister Seow Fang's(Megan Zheng) shoes to repair but he loses it. They keep it a secret as their family is suffering from poverty and there's no money to buy new shoes. She can't go to school without wearing shoes. To get around this problem, they devise a plan. She'll wear his shoes to school in the morning and then run back home in the afternoon, when he can wear it and go to school. Kun's shoes are too big for Seow. She has a hard time in school wearing it and then running back home. This also creates problems for Kun as he's late at school. At school, Kun and his friends get football shoes in exchange for doing homework to their wealthy mate Beng soon and his friends. But, because of some petty quarrels, they split and there are no more shoes to play football. Once Kun and Seow find out their shoes in the legs of one of her classmate. But when they find out that her father is a poor blind man, they decide not to ask for the shoes. Its at this bleak juncture that a Primary school cross country competition is announced. And the third prize is a pair of shoes. AM stopping the story here. See the little that is left for yourself.

'Homerun' is a touching account of sibling love, friendship and poverty. The scenes between the brother and sister are just too cute. Seeing it, I wished I had such a sweet adorable little sister. One funny thing I noticed was the headmaster who was played by a Keralite. I found this out from his looks and that unmistakable malayali accent. Am still wondering how this guy ended up in this film. His name is listed in IMDB as Sivaji Raja. Coming to the direction, though Jack Neo has overdid the emotion part in some of the scenes, you won't feel it that way most of the times mainly because of the kids. The scenes involving Kun and his friends are just fabulous and make you wanna go back to school. The last dialogue from Beng soon to Kun is my fav- "I never knew what it is like without a shoe." Guys, try to get the original 'Children of heaven'. If you are unsuccessful, go for this. And if anybody has the original, please do let me know.

PS- 'Children of Heaven' is being remade in Hindi with our own TZP wunderkid Darsheel Safary. The role of his sister is still not filled up. [Cute little girls out here can apply] Am waiting to watch this movie.

your crusader Praveen