The last song

a tragic love story...
***************The last song************
You came, out of nowhere
taking me by surprise
I wondered silently,
where u been hiding ,all this while?

I was in a heavenly bliss
as it grew between us.
You slowly started to invade,
my thoughts and my secret dreams.

I fell for you, and you for me
knowing full well, its not gonna end well.
I waited for each day to rise,
to hear your call of 'my sunshine'.

those few days, time came to a halt
as we lived this lovely dream.
moments to cherish, moments to laugh
life never seemed so good.

we were like two perfect notes,
so in harmony
And creating a wonderful symphony
Never was there an odd note.

the mountain air ran with us,
the waves danced with us,
the starfishes smiled with us,
we seemed to be God's chosen ones.

Then it came as an unseen tornado
we were left wondering what hit us.
our sand castles came crashing down,
shattered, we cried, together..

Got our dreams crushed
under the wheels of fate.
we used to complete each other,
But now our lives remain, incomplete.

Shed not tears, beloved.
we have those memories
Of those moments together
to relive and to see us through.

One of those days, down many years
we may meet, at some crossroad.
I wish, we manage to smile
And drop a silent tear.

You loved my words,
but now those very words desert me
when I need those for my best song,
a last song for you..

with love...
your crusader Praveen

Never too old to Rock n Roll

Haven't you all heard of those 'rules' whereby we are supposed to behave in a certain way at a particular age? We are supposed to behave with an air of maturity the minute we cross 18 years and get our license to watch adult movies. People will start rolling their eyes if you show any traces of the kid in you. And what if you are married? The air of dignity should have double thickness. Its time to throw away your metal t shirts, cut your hair and be a model family man. What if everyone followed those rules? Would we have Iron Maiden and ACDC still playing with their almost 60 year old banf members? I dedicate this to all those spirited old rockers who din't care about 'what others might think'. This is for men like ACDC's 55 year old guitarist Angus young who still wears his school suit on stage and jumps and rolls like a kid. Yes..its never too old to rock n roll.

**************Never too old to rock n roll!************

A walking stick, an old hat
And an old man's boot to suit
A wrinkled face, a few fallen teeth
But am not too old to rock n roll!

Young men in fancy coats
Walking half dead at 8 O clock.
Young at heart and old at skin,
Here am not too old to rock n roll!

Lived my life, this bloody way
Wild at heart, free at mind.
Age mocked at me, I mocked at age
Cos am not too old to rock n roll!

Two hoots to fake maturity,
Raised finger to the lawless laws.
I still dance like a school kid
Cos am not too old to rock n roll.

Black tees, long hair
don't care ways, heady days,
Its now almost a haze
But am not too old to rock n roll!

Hearse may come, anytime soon
To take me to an unknown grave.
You'll hear me sing,' Highway to hell'
Cos am still alive enough to rock n roll.

28/09/09

PS- Off to Goa with fellow bloggers from our company...3 days of fun awaits us!!!!
Wish u all a happy weekend

your crusader Praveen

The Race

*****The Race******
Life's a heady highway, they say
Be in the race, else you pay.
People scramble to get ahead,
Of the nearest familiar head.

I lay there, on the divider
the glory of the open sky all over.
Wondering aloud on the mad fuss,
No one cares, else they miss the bus.

Why so serious?, the joker asked,
Hiding his sorrows behind the paint.
Why so happy?, the human asks,
Dipping his smile in sorrow's palette.

I have smiles to give,
hills to play, dogs to chase.
rains to dance in, grass to roll on,
And a family to share it all with.

They have careers to make,
bills to pay, goals to chase.
They also have the family to ignore,
And smiles thrown outta door.

They call me, a loser in life
They laugh at me from the finish line
I laugh back and say, you left 'life' behind.
Yes, I, life, was having all the fun
while you ran for that extra dollar..

PS- The snap was taken during last week's visit to Palakkad. Yes, I would like to do my life's race in this one. A slow bumpy ride enjoying the simple pleasures of life.. :)
For more snaps from my Palakkad sojourn, head over to my photo blog

Weekend info- If you are a rock fan and if you are in Trivandrum this weekend, Hotel Taj in Vazhuthacaud is the place to be. 'Break on through the other side', a tribute concert for Jim Morrison, the legendary vocalist of 'The Doors' is happening on Sunday evening. The event is being conducted by Magic bus, the event managing company. Prominent rockers of Kerala from bands such as Motherjane, Avial, Rage, Chaos etc will be there to entertain you with Jim Morrison's immortal songs. Yes, If 'Roadhouse blues' rings a bell for you, then head over to Taj... Am heading to TVM morrow evening :) Wish you all a happy weekend..

your crusader Praveen

I am you

They say, there are 7 people in the world who look exactly like you. Even if there's one person like that, it can be a problem. And, if the one who shares your appearance is a hardcore criminal, things can't get worse. The old classic Malayalam movie 'Aparan', directed by the legendary Padmarajan deals with this subject. Its such a well-written film that the climax blows you away. This song which I wrote yesterday after watching this movie is inspired from it. The hero who is good at heart lands in big troubles because his look alike is a criminal. Forgive the lack of rhyming and utter disregard for rules of poetry. One thing is I don't know the rules of poetry. And my stock of rhyming words is almost exhausted. I just wanted to convey the idea.

*****I am you******
I am staring at me
I doubt if its me or him
Is it the mirror?
Or is it the real horror?

my shadow is scared
my shadow is confused
whom to follow?
whom to avoid?

I stare at the clear water
I shoot at the reflection
another bullet wasted
like a line drawn in water.

Sacrifices land me in jail,
murders shower him money like hail.
whats the use of a life well-lived,
when the believer dissolves into the criminal.

Fed up of this dual life
I seek the oneness of heaven
Alas! am breathing when am dead
As I read my name in the tombstone,
The life of a dead criminal
is left for me to hide and live.

PS-Will be out of station till next Wednesday.

your crusader Praveen

The Shining

********the shining************
The veil is gone
the pain is down
sown are the seeds
of a new life.

black been the colour
of my world till now
white is the heart of the man
who gave this glow.

finding my way home
with sure steps
my eyes do roam
for some starry gaze.

the ways of the world
wicked at best
fed before my eyes
like a showreel burst.

the sounds felt better
in my bygone dark era.
the scenes too much to bear,
in this colourful cursed world.

filled with envy
for that blind old man.
feasting on life,
like what I did yesterday.

I got this yesterday when I wrote things in my old hard disk of my home computer into some dvds. First time I looked at this, I was wondering whether I wrote this because I was not even getting an idea of what the hell these lines are all about. Then I gave it another reading yesterday evening. That was when it struck me that afterall it was me only who wrote this. This is about a man who he's seeing the world for the first time after he got his eyesight, thanks to a man who had donated his eyes before his death. The sights that he get to see in this bad mad world makes him think that life was better without eyes.

I guess this went to the band's dustbin. Maybe, that's why even I forgot about this.

photo courtesy-http://www.caseresources.org/evangelisation/images/eyes.jpg

PS- Heading to Goa morrow. Old collegemates will touch down there from different parts of the country. Its gonna be a jolly good weekend. It already had a good start today with 'Dasvidaniya'. Had some tears on my eyes after watching that. Wish you all a happy weekend. See you on Tuesday.

The nadir of mind

There's a high tide of unrest
Sometimes I feel like a pest
Having lost all the bloody zest
For a life that was a fest

I flew where my heart took me
I lived by what it told me
Never thought it would fail me
And leave me like a film with no reel

Negativity pervades all my thoughts
rowing in my mind like a shadowy boat
Am in a prison of my own creation
where breaking free is out of question.

I know, only I can make it or break it.
Its time to stop my mind's spoilsport.
I can't go any deeper and drown
Its time to come into my own.

Depression is a state of mind where you see negativity all around. You will lose interest in everything and you try to keep to yourself. You will talk less and keeps on thinking. Mostly this thinking will be around the same things and you wont make any progress in that too. You will find it hard to sleep. You wont understand when others advice you to see the positive side. You will feel you are useless. You will think death is near. And, more than that you'll never know that you have such a problem.

Its not to make you sad that I told all this. I was just referring to a psychological disorder that can affect anybody. Am telling this because I've seen it happening real close to me. And, I tell you its one of the worst possible states that one can get into. Suddenly, you see one of the most positive persons ever talking negatively. It affects the person as well as those around him/her. The reason can be something as big as the death of someone close or it can be as trivial as work pressure. But, once it affects you, you are in for a really bad time. The only way you can help the patient is by constantly interacting with him. You should try to distract his mind by engaging him in other activities. Also, never stop talking. Proper care from those around the person can bring him back to normalcy. Its not the end of the world. There's always a better tomorrow.

Even if you are afflicted with a serious disease, you can remain cheerful if you have a positive mind. But this one first kills that positive mind itself. I pray with all my heart to God to never ever make anyone in this state. So, always stay positive. Never let a single negative thought into your mind. It can grow as big as to swallow you completely.

PS- I started to write this about an year back. Wrote the first 8 lines then. But wanted to end this positively. And I got those last 4 lines today.

Unrelated PS- Anyone going to the Fuel Great Indian Rock Fest morrow(Friday Nov 7) at Palace grounds, Bangalore? The Norwegian black metal bands Satyricon and Sahg are gonna rock the crowd along with prominent Indian bands like Slingshot, extinct refelections etc. Be there.

pic courtesy-121hypnosis.com


your crusader Praveen

Blog action Day-The Final Harvest

October 15 2008-A momentous day in the history of blogs. Today, thousands of blogs the world over will discuss the same topic-Poverty. Titled 'Blog action day', this is an initiative to 'change the conversation' to shed light on this global problem and arrive at various steps to alleviate poverty. Am posting this song on the big issue of farmer's suicide in India. I started writing this last year and left it after four lines. Yesterday night I completed it.

Every year thousands of farmers in India are ending their lives because of high debts and extreme poverty. There were many cases of whole families committing suicide. Widespread industrialisation, lack of help from Government, unexpected natural calamities and the worsening economic conditions have almost made it sure that agriculture is on the way to its graveyard. Hope the Government reinvents its agricultural policy and save the fast diminishing breed of farmers. I dedicate this song to all those men who died on the very land they used to cultivate.

*****The Final Harvest******
Staring at the twisted noose
hanging from the shattered roof
My sturdy hands go numb
Am I doing something dumb?

My first smell was that of the soil
On which I had a life of toil.
My first steps were on this land
which always gave me a helping hand.

The rub of the green used to go my way
everyday was meant to make hay
Songs of harvest were on my lips
Worry was nowhere to be seen a bit.

Then, one fine day, it all dried up
the streams were flowing empty
as was my child's stomach
the crops were waiting death.

the land of green is a thing of past
skyscrapers mock at me from there
Highways zoom over from nowhere
Where should I go, am unaware.

Silently I cry, helplessly I plead
But no one here to pay heed
For they are all gone, my family,
Four lives taken by poverty.

The fertile land which bore me
Now smells of innocent blood.
As the noose tightens around my neck,
I know for sure I was never dumb.


As the world sheds millions of tears over the crashing markets and the falling billionaires, lets all shed a single tear for these unforgotten men who doesn't have the bank balance for the media to go after them. Afterall, without people like them, we can never dream of having a hearty meal.

Check these heart rending images of poverty from another blog action day blog
http://digital-photography-school.com/blog/17-images-of-poverty/

Pic courtesy-topnews.in

your crusader Praveen

Pranav's Poems

Stumbled upon Harimohan's blog today. He has posted a collection of poems written by his 8 year old newphew Pranav,who's battling brain tumour. Its written in chronological order from the time he was diagnosed with this disease. They are simple short poems but it hits right at the centre of your heart. And, this coming from an 8 year old is no mean achievement. This deserves to be published as a book. Spare some of your time and read through it all. Worth it.

your crusader Praveen

The STALKER

First it was orkut. Then it was all the e-mail sites and video sites. Now Blogger is also blocked in my company. But can it stop me from writing and blogging more? Never. So, here I go again, using a proxy site. This is the 1st song I wrote after completing my training and starting work at office. Donnow why, this subject came to my mind all of a sudden. Is it because an idle mind is a devil's workshop?

******STALKER*********
Obsession fuels my ride
On a duel to decide
In me, the devil reside
Its me, always by your side.

I am the thorn in your flesh
U r the smile on my face
U can't see me in the haze
Behind you,here I rush.

chorus:
You call me the stalker in black,
the man without a name
and the man without a face
Yes, am the stalker at your back.


You see a psycho behind you
But I am a macho, out to save you.
Am not the evil lurking in the woods
Am just a dreamer, with a mind full of wounds

chorus:
You call me the stalker in black,
the man without a name
and the man without a face
Yes, am the stalker at your back.



25/02/2008

your crusader Praveen