Sakhi ka bhayankar Swayamvar  

Posted by Praveen in , , ,


Sakhi Rawant. She's the heartthrob of millions. She has such a brilliant brain that the makers of google once visited her and requested her not to venture into the field of science and technology. Yes, they were scared that she would end their monopoly. She's so well versed in world affairs that she thinks Indiana is the capital of India. Take a look at this scene when she was reading newspaper last week. No, she doesn't subscribe to a newspaper. This bit of paper came to her wrapped around an aloo samosa.

"I ran elections a farce: Bush"
and now lets take a look at her thought process-
"What should I do if you ran the elections? And atleast learn the proper spelling of such a simple word as force."

One of her aunties recently gave an interview to dudlines today, India's No.1 newsentertainment channel. She fondly remembers Sakhi's childhood, when she developed this deep aversion to clothes. She was not always like this. Until she was 5 years old, Sakhi used to cover herself up from head to toe in woollen clothes even in summer. She used to even take bath with her clothes on. It all changed one day when she saw this rousing speech by a senior journalist in good old doordarshan. He was talking about 'press freedom' and poor Sakhi who was intelligent from birth heard it as 'dress freedom'. She threw away all her clothes and appointed herself as the world ambassador for dress freedom.

She had also developed many indigenous ideas to stay in the spotlight. One is obviously to follow the 'spotlight' relentlessly around the globe, until the tired 'spotlight' gives it up and rests upon her. Other ideas are like slapping her boyfriend in public, crying foul over lip locks and unlocks and ofcourse, item numbers. But all that pales in comparison to the latest master stroke from Sakhi Rawant- 'Sakhi ka swayamvar'. The wild lady has atlast decided to marry and being Sakhi, she wants to do it in her own crazy way. She has decided to do a reality tv style swayamvar in the latest entertainment channel, eNDineeTV unIMAGINEable*. Lakhs of intelligent good looking gentlemen from around the country applied to get into the show. In the end, Yamraj decided to give 'hell' to 16 of them. And, thus started the biggest spectacle in Indian television, the fineprint of which is "Will somebody please carry this burden home?"

The swayamvar reportedly started this week and is already topping the 'Tastelessly Rocking Programs(TRP)' charts. I was thinking on the various reasons for so many of India's youngsters taking this drastic step of applying for this show. The most obvious one is that the latest poisons available in the market are duplicate and ineffective. So, people are finding better ways to suicide, one of which is to take part in this show. Another might be a real bad girlfriend who slaps not only the guy but also his Father. Some might be there just for the spotlight. I really hope there's one guy who's there to pull a trick on Sakhi. And, I wish he somehow wins the show and when she runs with the garland towards him, he shows her the finger and walk off triumphantly. Only that will give peace to Vyasa maharshi who introduced the idea of Swayamvara in Mahabharatha. There was actually a report in HNN IBN, the official news channel in heaven, that Yama is planning to send Vyasa back to earth so that he could do a shift+delete of the 'swayamvara' part in Mahabharatha.

*eNDineeTV- literal translation in malayalam means 'what this TV is for?'

PS-eNDineeTV inIMAGINEable has no Relation with NDTV Imagine. The author has never ever heard of a lady named Rakhi Sawant or a show named 'Rakhi ka Swayamvar'.

pic courtesy-flickr

your crusader Praveen

This entry was posted on Friday, July 03, 2009 at Friday, July 03, 2009 and is filed under , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

15 comments

poor sakhi sawant..hahah n super sucking swamvar...hahah

yeh

who's rakhi?? :P

7:53 AM

ROFL!! :D manushyana engane aakaamennu ithil ninnu kandu padikaam! talk about brilliant satirical reviews!!

enNDineeTV is a stroke of sheer genius tho :D loved it!

all said and done, that show is one of the most ridiculous yet entertaining ones i've ever come across...

10:17 AM

I wish if her honeymoon were a reality show.... She is so fond of media.. She thinks nobody understands her drama and ofcourse channels like Star News and Indya TV are in her bag. Good post man!

11:39 AM

Hmmm... that was a too gud post..
i havnt seen the show til nw, though every other person i meet is talking abt it...
I am seeing to wt extent smeone can go for some stupid publicity stunt...

3:09 PM

lol!!!


this was hilarious! :D

she actually read a newspaper and said all that?


yeah OFCOURSE you have no clue about Rakhi and Swayamvar ;))

never even heard about them have you?:D

5:05 PM

simply too good....i just hope the word about this post goes around and that rakhi oops sakhi herself sees it and cowers in shame...keep rocking man!

5:59 PM

vERY NICE! i ADORED YOUR WRITING. Hypocratic and nice!

9:34 AM

@PJ
yea..who's rakhi?ever seen her?

@Aswathy
u watch it regularly? :D
spcl thnks to those kind words :)

@Gopikuttan
yea..honeymoon reality will really get the TRPs in :D...and what abt a divroce reality show?

@devil incarnate
even I havent seen the show till now. Gotta watch atleast one episode to find out whats really going on there..

@Indyeah
Oh no..She wud never dare to read a bit of paper, even if it came wrapped around aloo samosa.. that dialogue was just something I made up :P

@Ramanathan
hehhe...she'll sue me ;)

@shwetha
thnks...but hypocritical???

12:04 AM

LOLzzzzz
Really funny!

This is one of ur most creative posts...

I want to tell u something..I kind of admire this spunky lady..I know she's a sucker for publicity n all..I know she's almost unbearable onscreen..I know ppl hate her..

but the lady speaks her mind..She calls a spade a spade..she loves herself the way she is..she accepts she doesnt understand English..she accepts she cannot interact in English..she has confessed to having a **** job done..she has admitted she slept arnd big time to earn a livelihood, coz she was really poor and she was thrown out of school..

I agree she's a drama queen..im aware of her innumerable publicity stunts..but it appears to me tht she is not all tht fake and manipulative..

8:19 PM

LOL!! Good write-up man. :-)

11:44 PM

"Will somebody please carry this burden home?" - This was the funniest !!!!

Crazy female that Rakhi is!!! Oops typo; I meant Sakhi ! :D

12:01 AM

Soon a time will come when what we saw in the movie truman show will become a reality...friend of mine said she told the contestants 'do u know i didnt sleep last night do u know why because each of you came and tormented me in my sleep please dont do it again'...she is made for tv

8:52 PM

@swats
hmm..thts some load of new info on rakhi..I do agree that she's straightforward...but she's a real disgusting thing with her limelight seeking antics every other day..

@Jo
thanks:)

@vimmuuu
yea...saaaakhi :P

@jon
entammo...I never had the chance to watch this show..means I stayed away from the show :D

10:10 PM

Been some time since I read any blog. Anyways, this is totally hilarious!!

Good work on the satire side, especially, 'Endinee TV?" :-D

Never got to see the swayamvar though...

7:19 AM

LOL!

This was too funny.
Good to know SO many people are discussing rakhi sawant's show on blogosphere! :D

But your post was hilarious.
First time here. :)

4:42 PM

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