Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Sach Ka Saamna: Truth unleashed


Truth - 1. Something you speak only inside the star TV studio;
2. An extinct practice, of which no written records remain;
Latest updation to the crebster's dictionary

Mahatma Gandhi, a man who fought the British with his non-violent methods, a man who inspired millions of Indians to follow his path in fighting the mighty empire, a man whose simplicity captivated the whole world and a man who found success in almost all the endeavours in his life. Yet, there was one thing that worried him immensely. Even after writing a whole book on truth or projecting his own life as an epitome of honesty, he couldn't get most of his fellow Indians to speak the truth all the time. Infact, the politicians plunged more and more into a well of lies after independence. And keeping them as model, the layman also had his share of lies. Atlast, after more than 60 long years, Rupert Murdoch has succeeded what Gandhiji failed to do. Mudoch's star TV has come up with 'sach ka saamna', ironically a copied version of 'moment of truth', to make Indians speak the truth.

Murdoch must've realised that the only way to solve any problem in India circa 2009 is through reality TV. The reality madness has reached such heights that there's no point having many of the things outside the tv studio. We have reality romances, reality races, reality fights, reality marriages, reality honeymoons, reality bedroom scenes etc etc. Some people are known to even eat reality food and do reality shit on a reality closet and clean up with a reality tissue to conserve the really scarce reality water. So, in this wild scenario, why leave 'truth' behind? The day the show was announced, Gandhiji's autobiography was sold out from all the bookstores. Many of the tv addicts aspiring to take part in the show were seen studying the book intently on how to tell truth. Some popular page 3 ladies were reportedly searching for the spelling and actual meaning of the word 'truth' in the latest edition of crebster's dictionary.

As expected from the show, we had wives talking about how they cheated on their husbands, husbands talking on how they cheated both their wives and their girlfriends and many more similar episodes. The lie detector had a field day and even after revealing uncomfortable truths, the participants had to go back home empty handed to be received by a wife with slippers in both the hands. And then one fine day, the great Indian politician made a grant appearance in the show. He began to shock the audience with his 'truthful' dialogues. He never has accepted bribes and he calls himself to be a man who's free from corruption. The lie detector was uncharacteristically silent when he spoke. In the end, they came to the final question...

"Have you ever had extra marital affairs?"
"NO"

The audience gasped. Lie detector didn't make any noise this time too. He won the show. The lie detector stopped working the next day. A lie detector expert was flown in from Papua New Guinea(where lies are still not invented) to fix it up. He said that the lie detector is no more usable because extreme pressure conditions has damaged the lie detecting capabilities of the machine. It shut down itself because it failed to find proof that the politician was lying even after knowing that he was indeed lying. The man was telling lies so confidently that the machine couldn't detect even a single change in pulse or blood flow. So, after 21 big lies, he walked away with the grand prize. That was also the last episode of the show...

PS- I completed 4 years of blogging on July 3rd. My ever failing memory failed me this time too. So am posting this info 26 days late. And, in case I forget to tell, my birthday is on coming monday, August 3rd. And that makes my age, 24!!!!

your crusader Praveen

21 comments:

scorpiogenius said...

Well Praveen, you're the master of arts! Happy belated blog-anniversary and happy b'day in advance! :)

So are you ready to take on the sachh ka saamna on your nirthday? I have quite a few interesting questions to ask, shall I? ;)

jay kay said...

lol..nice one.....happy b day to ur blog for completing four years and advanced wishes to u also

--xh-- said...

congratz for completion of 4 years and adv b;day wishes :)

Jon said...

There is a qoute 'You get the leaders you deserve'. The politicians around are not any better than us. They accept bribes,back bites, changes their stands.
But so do we. It happens in government but so does the same happen in a private IT company.
Only difference is politicians get a media coverage.

And regarding Gandhi... I believe he was painted white after the independence to give India a blemish free hero. He had his own negative areas. I am of the opinion that he was one of them indirectly involved in the division of India

http://timesiamin.blogspot.com/2009/07/i-was-never-psychologist-but-always.html

May be my comment is out of context with your post... But I wanted to say we have no right to blame politicians when the people outside are worse

KarunaaDa KannaDati said...

Congratulations on your 4 blogger years :) - Belated as the post itself was belated ;)

The reality menance has struck the common man so hard - especially the just out of college frenzy youth that 'they need to watch it at least to know how horribly they can make a show' and TRPs rise like booming stock market.

Hope you dont plan to have a reality Birthday coming up :D Just enojy it really.

Ashwathy said...

congrats on completing 4 years of blogging! and what a rocking post to commemorate /celebrate it! :D nice ending, i say!

and sending u bday wishes in advance :-)

btw the high court told the politicians to @#£% off regarding banning the show and whether they have nothing better to do than start moral policing on tv shows. i thot u'd be mentioning something regarding that as well!

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Thankfully, I dont watch TV!

And many congrats on the 4rth anniversary! Wishing you many many more!

Tara said...

Haven't watched a single episode of this show yet and ain't I glad. :) Especially after that Vinod Kambli thing, in poor taste I think. :(

PS. Happy birthday in advance :) [I may not be here over the weekend]. So have a great year and a great life ahead! :) Take care. :)

Timeless Memories - My Bygone ! said...

:) first of all Advance B'day wishes..
and congrats for completing longgg 3 yrs in blogging...
I also watch the show, bt sme hw i didnt find much interesting, infact i got bored whn i watched it 2nd time.. Smehw cant believe that we indians hav bcome so much business minded that even 'truth' is on sale in the mkt... pathetic.. dnt knw whther am i the only one feeling this way..

Praveen said...

@scorpiogenius..
hehehee...ayyo njan illa anna ee kaliyonnum kalikkan

@jay kay
thnks man..and keep coming back

@xh
thnks man :D

@rahul
yes...I agree on all that u raised.. my intention was not to blame the politicians..it was just a light hearted take on the pointlessness of such stupid shows

@supriya
thnks 4 the wishes
am not a 'reality' person...so I'll have a a real bday :D

@aswathy
thanks 4 the wishes:)
yeaa..politicians try to focus on the wrong issues all the time :D

@rakesh
thanks man :D

@Tara
yea..even I havnt watched
and happy bday to u too in advance :D

@devil incarnate
thnks 4 the wishes:)
no, u r not the only one feeling that way..:D..many more of us think so

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Congrats dey!
:-)

Treat unda appo, Little Home?

-Nikhil

thomas said...

Congrats on the 4 year mark Praveen; and that too with an exemplary consistency. And an advance HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

So that makes you "older" eh? hehe, kidding.

Ajith said...

Advance B day wishes dude!

Nammukku onnu koodande???

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on 4 yrs of blogging..Keep up the gr8 work :)

Bday wishes in advance :))

I have seen the show in bits and pieces..

Btw, Rajiv Khandelwal is adorably cute :)

Admin said...

congrats......

kartoos said...

Hey,
Both of us share the same birthday.
Your blog and me :D. I guess great stuff shares birthdays too ;;)
From next year onwards I would remind you.

Anonymous said...

Can't get ur email id..So wisin u here..

HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYY to you, Praveen...

May u b successful in all ur endeavours :)

May God bls u and allllllll ur dreams come true..

Wishin u peace, prosperity, love, luck, happiness and success..Hv a wonderful year ahead!!

Tara said...

Happy birthday! :D Rock it and shine on! :) Can I call you kezhava? ;) Then Happy Birthday kezhava! :P

*runs away*

PS.But weren't you the kiddo? Oh! Split personality...paavam! ;P

*pant pant*

Unknown said...

@crusader...congrats on completing three looong years of blogging...way to go buddy...

and belated b'day wishes too...:)

Usha Pisharody said...

Praveen, am here a day late to wish you... but then I did get here :)
Happy happy birthday :) May you be blessed to have a great year ahead too!

The nicest thing is that you share the same birthday, as my younger one.. :) Did a post for him, and for that came back from the self imposed exile, taken because of anticipated work pressure, and related health problems :)

Congratulations on the fourth anniversary!

Great post as always, and the new entry to your crebsters dictionary :D!

Praveen said...

@nikhil
vannolu little homeilekku :D tharallo treat

@thomas
older!!! no way..am getting younger by the day

@ajith
pinnentha koodallo!!

@swats
thanks a lot for dropping in2 times to wish me:D...next time get my mail id in advance:P

@a malayali
thanks

@kartoos
I think my blog's bday is actually july 5:D gotta chk n confirm

@tara
kizhavaa??????????how dare u idiot!
yea...kiddo's betr :P

@ramanathan
thnks man:D
btw, its 4, not 3 yrs of blogging :D

@Usha m'am
so nice to see u back here, after a LONG LONG LONG time...convey my wishes to ur son...
and thnks 4 all the wishes:)