Assbook,Farkut and Shwitter-Networking unleashed  

Posted by Praveen in


Year 2049 ( not taking 2050 because everything is uncool after Harman Bhaweja uses it)

"I saw my grandmother for the first time today"
- Raj, a 50 year old's status message on the popular social networking site 'Assbook'.

"I never knew my house had a door through which I can get outside. Hey, I never knew there existed a world outside my home. But, I didn't see anyone alive outside."
- Samir, a 20 year old's status message in the networking site 'Farkut'(the 2nd vowel and the alphabet preceeding it is silent in the name)

"God, I just heard about a hurricane that lashed all over a country called USA. I feel sorry for the people there. Thank God, am in America."
-George, a 30 year old's latest message in the micro messaging site 'Shwitter'. This happened to be his last message there.

"Daisy said its safe because she's on pills"
-Shanth, a 5 year old kid famous for his anger, puts this message in the site 'Parending'


Nowadays, many people spent half of their life in on or the other social networking sites. When the orkut fad started way back in college, I thought everyone's excitement about the new medium will die down in a few days. But, it has only increased manifold with even sites in local languages catering to the kuttappans and thankappans of social networking. Facebook overtook orkut in popularity. Then came the path breaking micro messaging service, twitter. All of a sudden every filthy celebrity worth his/her salt is seen on twitter, creating records with the number of followers. Its a syndrome of 'Oh-u-r-so-uncool-if-u-r-not-on-twitter' all of a sudden. People have started updating the status of whatever they are doing right then online, to be read by their friends as well as millions of others on the net. With the convenience of updating status even from a mobile phone, we have some really wonderful realtime status messages to view everyday. Some samples.

"Right now having a hard time at the loo. Hope to finish this by EOD(End Of Day, for the uninitiated)"-Software engineer updating from the nearest restroom.

"Sending this update under trying cicumstances. Girlfriend has got one of her legs on my chests and a broomstick in one of her hands."

"The patient is crying out of pain. Forgot to give him the anaesthetic. Anyway its late, so thought I would let you all know this"- update from a doctor.

"Just baffled the interviewer with my quick wit. He's waiting for me to finish this tweet update"- youth at an interview.


Its all going to a point where people can never even think of living without this. Every small thing you do is paraded before the world as a soap opera. People talk more to the PC than their immediate neighbour. As the world shrinks, people are also shrinking inside. I may sound pessimistic. The Orwellian fan inside me makes me think that the whole internet is a big thought control mechanism where slowly your mind is made a slave without you even knowing it. A 6 pack body with a slavish mind is useless and slowly but completely you fall under the control. You become the addict. You get withdrawal symptoms when you stay away. You submit fully to it. More and more people fall into the trap. The world will be full of thought controlled zombies who call themselves humans. Then, the real dark villain will arise and call himself the owner of the internet and thus in a way the owner of your soul too.

The previous para was a doomsday scenario which occurs in my brain right after 12 AM everyday. The reality may not come much close to this. But it can never be ruled out. A generation of social networking slaves who have never seen a human alive in real life...

image courtesy-contrib.andrew.cmu.edu

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at Wednesday, May 13, 2009 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

16 comments

good one here.. I am looked down upon by all sizes and shapes of ppl jus because am not a frequent orkutter (err.. dunno wat are facebook and twitter :)) and I delete my scraps.. huh..

cheers !!:)

9:02 AM

its true mate, we spend most of our time online when we could have used the time to do some productive work outside or even to get to know our neighbours..
well written n funny too.. :-)

9:21 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
9:21 AM

brilliant!

LOL @ thankappan and kuttappans of social networking.

I understand you attitude, but I really don't think at this point there's any looking back, is there?
One of those necessary evils...

It's like the mobile. There was a time when we could go out and come back and nobody at home (or elsewhere) could get in touch with us in between. Now people wonder how they existed so long without the cellphone. The motto is about being connected 24/7. To email each other sitting right across the hall from each other. You get the drift... :-)

11:21 AM

Quite true! Most of us are part of some online social networking site and spend a lot of time on them! Me included!

Its kinda some online world, far away from the real world.....comfortable though!

But hey, I advocate limited and discretionary usage and participation.....always!

3:48 PM

there you unleash your complete humorous side... way to go...
keep that coming.. farkut....

more and more needed

http://santoshhariharan.blogspot.com/

5:31 PM

I agree ..though I find these sites a good way to connect ...I think its utter stupidity after a certain age to update ur status for all to see ..people change there name every day ..if nothing else ....havent tried twitter and dont think i am going to ...orkut and facebook are enuff nuisance

6:22 PM

lolz.. though I am present on FB, Orkut and Twitter, my activity is minimal :D

8:23 PM

Gr8 post, Praveen..(loved ur title :P)

Thank God, I'm not on any social networking sites..I hate to get addicted to anything

Everything has its pros n cons..networking online is gr8, but excess of anything is bad..

Ppl r really hooked on to these sites..anything beyond a point is unhealthy..ur social life (real) really goes for a toss..

11:41 PM

LMAO! Good one! But seriously, I believe this is the evolution of communication. Collective consciousness as sages of old used to say.

12:04 AM

Finally got here too!

Fantastic post, the dry humour, rather bleak and black too, underscores the situation very well. Are we losing the human touch, virtually?

Sad but true. Only hope user discretion does happen and people interact personally more as time goes by. Unlikely though, with the volumes growing on the sites aforementioned!

12:28 AM

so very true :P n i muz admit, am no exception! i liked de satire tone here..makes one laff yet twinge!! :P but then, i'd say, these networkin sites makes it easy to access ppl..be it near, or far :) n so, i'd vote for it..than against!! :D

9:32 AM

Internet lifestyle has really made people less active.

1:14 PM

this is the best post i read all day...

Shwitter lemme guess 'w' silent... :)

LMAO...

8:10 PM

@preeti
look down upon those who look down upon you:D

@amal bose
yes...get outdoors!

@aswathy
yes..necessary evil..am not against using it..But there should be a limit..

@Rakesh
limited and discretionary..thats wat I advocate too

@chronicwriter
honoured to hear that from the king of comedy :D

@preeti
hahhaa true..updating name everyday...pointless...

@richa
thts the way to go

@swats
exctly...the social life suffers..

@rockus
evolution it is..but slavery is also happening:D

@Usha M'am
nice to see u here after a long long time..
yes, the volumes are increasing everyday. But I hope one day people will realise

@sashu
diplomatic :P

@anthony
less active and more talkative:D

@apocalypse
oh..gr8!!!!!!
yes..u r rite abt shwitter:P

1:59 AM

How true. These sites also seem to fuel a voyeuristic, poke-your-nose-into-others'-business impulse.

10:35 AM

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