The theory of improbable probabilities  

Posted by Praveen in

(also known as the theory of free interchangeability)
Warning-Can cause brain damage due to its unending possibilities...

Those who have seen Pranav Mistry's insanely brilliant presentation at this year's TED talk in Mysore will be knowing the unlimitedness of human imaginations and possibilities. His 'sixth sense' invention is one of the greatest ideas that I've heard in recent times. Viewing that video yesterday night(and with some gentle reminder from a good friend on the phone), I remembered about the 'theory of improbable probabilities' that I developed in college. Its a pity that the guys at TED missed this idea considering its far reaching implications. This theory is as flexible as the elastic of a 1995 model 95 inch VIP frenchie and can be applied in any field.

It all took birth in my elephant sized brain about 3 years back on an exam eve. As usual, we started our studies on the evening of the day before the exam after a day full of teen comedy movies. The time was past midnight. There were almost 10 of us at Raja's home. Everyone was worried about the pile of notes remaining to be read. Some were half asleep. I was staring at the ceiling. Suddenly it struck me and before thinking much more on it, I blurted it out to the world for the first time- "Guys, What if today was tomorrow and tomorrow was today? Our exams are over now...Rejoice!!!" As they say, every great mind was ridiculed during his time. Socrates was stoned, Copernicus was beaten up...same thing happened with the brilliant me. But this didn't deter me. I came up with more theories on the same line which were well recieved with brickbats. Some more on the same line...

*"What if work was salary and salary was work? We would be getting salary every day and work only at the end of the month"

*"what if land was sea and sea was land?We would've so much more space to live and in turn real estate prices will be at their minimum, say 1 rupee for 1 acre."

*"what if India was pakistan and Pakistan was India? Today would've been Kasab's 1st death anniversary and lashkar would be referred in past tense"

*"what if rock music was carnatic and carnatic was rock music? Kirk Hammet and his likes will be sitting on the floor with a guitar on their laps and M.S.Subbalakshmi would've been headbanging."

*"what if face was ass and ass was face? Everyone would be a member of assbook. And kicking ass won't be a thing which everyone can do. And the dialogue- your ass looks so awesome- wouldn't get your ass kicked"

*"what if Bal thackerey was Manmohan singh and Manmohan singh was Bal thackerey during 26/11? Nothing would change. Maximum we can expect is a useless article in his yellow saffron mag saamna"


Many more applications of this theory are there. Not posting it because of its highly adult nature. Do contribute your own ideas of this theiry :P

your crusader Praveen

This entry was posted on Friday, November 27, 2009 at Friday, November 27, 2009 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

9 comments

WOW Praveen! This is the stuff!!! Hats off man! lol, great post..

Assbook and Bal thackarey ideas are the best! I didn't like the Indo-Pak idea though.. You're top class.. iniyum ingane valla ideasum undode?

Now, lemme think of a few and will come back., :)

3:40 AM

Yup! Elephant brain it is! (About Elephant brains: In proportion to the size of the body, the elephant brain is smaller than the human brain.)

10:24 AM

"what if wind was time and time was wind" - time would move only once a while and certain things would move quickly while certain things could be slowly cherished. While we would keep getting blown away by the wind every second to a new destination

1:30 PM

M.S. Subbalaxmi headbanging!!! omg!! ROFL..!!!!

c'mon... there are so many more similar theories... cant wait for a second part of this post with more possibilities! :D

here's some food for thought: (which im sure u wont like lol)
what if men were women and women were men (abt their behaviourial characteristics)? men would give birth and worry abt home n family more, and women wud run the world with a lot of shopping n harmless gossiping and less of war n fights... the world wud be a more peaceful place to live in, dont u think? :D
ok now let me run before u start throwing chappals LOL

11:40 PM

This is big! Wow! I'm blown away. I've been watching the TED lectures for some time but I missed this one!

What if space-time was time-space?

Thanks so much for posting this.

12:02 AM

WOw... here is u with sme cool stuff. gud one indeed.. just wish.. wt if it was seriosly that way...
its soo quirky....

4:58 PM

Where are the Adults-only theories?! I was hoping you'd post them here at least! :D

10:39 PM

What if Crusadertvm was Shah Rukh Khan and Shah Rukh Khan was Crusadertvm? :P

5:17 PM

@supriya
waah!thats really a profound use of that theory :D cheers

@rockus
ooops!thnks 4 the info..I really thought their brain is as big as their head:P

@scorpiogenius
I know y u dint like that india- pak thing..I had a doubt tht it will be misconstructed..It was in no way to demean our country or sing praises of a country we hate...but just a way of expressing my frustration of having seen nothing happening from our side after such a national tragedy

and to ur crusader - SRK theory ..:(..Please dont!!!!! :P

@rindo
its too adults only even for this space:D

@aswathy
hehhehee..I wont throw chappals at people..Y waste chappals?;) anyway good thoughts coming from a lady :D

@daria
I guess u r talking a about the original TED lecture of Pranav mistry...for a minute I mistook it for my post:P...hehehheee

@devil incarnate
yea..but then many things will go wrong if this theory worked:D

9:31 PM

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