Year 2013  

Posted by Praveen in , ,

Yes, the earth is still turning. And all the alarmists who predicted THE END to happen one year back have gone into damage control mode saying that the clock at the 'Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change'(IPCC) was actually going anti clockwise. Self proclaimed climate man R.K.Pachauri was seen visiting the local watch repair shop in Himalaya. He now says that the deadline of 2035 that he set for the Himalayan ice to melt was not far from the mark. Just that he missed a worthless zero from the right side. And also his watch doesnt show the year.

'Dimes of India' is still the preferred newspaper in my home because of the 4 sheets of 'Bangalore dimes' filled up with hot pics of leading actresses. Now, with the government opening up media rights by framing more laws, we get to see a minimum of one nude pic a day in this four page supplement which is a staple read in some of the bachelor bathrooms here. Still, allegations of pictures copied from flickr pages persisted. And to stay connected with the roots, we still subscribed to the malayalam newspaper. As the 'Bangalore dimes' took its turns in the bathroom, the main newspapers will be lying useless in the couch.Justify Full
Once in a while, I used to run through it and all it has given me is agony. You guys in 2010 will be happy to know that there wont be 'page 3' in 2013, just like there's no building 13 in some of the corporate houses. Instead, we have all the page 3 shifted to page 1. Today's lead news is about Speedika doublecone's 101st boyfriend and how they are planning to break up. The 40th part in the "My name is.." series is releasing this Friday. The series which started way back in 2010 with "My name is chan" stands out because the director-lead actor duos are all gay couples. The latest in the series is known as "My name is bland" directed by Karan blowhar and starring Humpman Khan. Bhetan Chagat has written his 9th book titled '69 positions', the title of which is inspired from the hard work he had to do for getting the proper credits in the movie adaptation of his previous book, directed by Karan blowhar.

The 2nd page has many ADs inviting tenders for various awards. You can be the best in whatever you want, provided you have the money. Sam Anderson won the national award for best actor after winning the auction last year. Ajmal Kasab was given Padmashri for 5 years of exemplary performance in Indian courts. Many other awards are on sale including the best in any category imaginable. There are separate columns for winners to indulge in self congratulation. Golit Toddy, the IPL commisioner says he'll run for president. Pakistani players are still not allowed to play in IPL. Chacrook Khan was seen shedding crocodile tears for not allowing them to play. "They should've atleast let kkkkkkkamran akkkkkmal play", he was seen saying. Afridi bit 3 stumps and the pitch at Lahore ground, in anger. The pitch was left with 3 big holes.

The obituary page is not my favourite. As I gave a passing glance, I saw a familiar face. Yes, its me. I checked again. Yeah, its me. It seems I died yesterday due to prolonged illness. No, wait...I have to wait till morrow's paper, because 'clarifications' are the order of the day. And yes , it came the following day- "Mr.xxx(yeah, thats me) is still alive. We regret the wrong information. We'll let you know as soon as he dies. Sorry for the inconvenience." Anyway my case is better than my neighbour Mr.yyy who has already died 4 times in the last one year. Thanks to the clarifications, he's still alive.

PS- Sad at the untimely demise of the gifted malayalam actor and scriptwriter Cochin Haneefa. May his soul rest in peace. The ugly episode yesterday, of the media announcing his death many hours before the actual happening made me write this post. Hungry for breaking news? Why not kill yourself and break the news first?

your crusader Praveen

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 03, 2010 at Wednesday, February 03, 2010 and is filed under , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

5 comments

I read abt his death in the Hindu today and felt sad! But I didn't know that the media jumped the gun!

What sickos!

11:46 PM

Nice.. :)

There won't be any difference between a newspaper and a tabloid, in their attributes, in 2013. Some people think they're already the same things.

3:59 PM

i wonder if people really care abt stuffs like that... :P may be thats just me ;) he he..

hmm.. been here after a very long long time.. how u doing praveen? :)

4:23 PM

Omg!! I didnt know Cochin haneefa passed away!! I read it in shock and then quickly read thru the websites to confirm it!
His twin dauhgters are soooo young :-( It is indeed a tragic news...


I laughed reading ur piece... very very well written. But yes it definitely highlights the issue behind it... sad state of media these days :-/

11:30 PM

didn't know about the sad episode... sad indeed... a fitting post...

8:55 PM

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