Overflowing pubs, Maiden spirit & Death of the culture vultures

crowd in front of Le Rock pub. Checkout the cutout of Bruce 'Maiden' Dickinson at the top.

The spirits are at their highest point as I write this. Just got back home close to midnight after a hectic valentine's day. No, I was not busy kissing and holding hands with my girl friend all day. That has happened only in dreams until now. The pub bharo campaign was a grand success today as evident from the sea of humanity seen near the pubs in Bangalore. The fact that the Iron Maiden concert is happening here morrow added to the normal crowd in the pubs.

The Kingfisher heavy metal blogger's meet conducted by indiblogger.in was the highlight of the evening. Me and my friend Narayan landed up there and proving ourselves to be the new Gods of punctuality. Never have in recent times I reached for a program at the scheduled time. There was only a small bunch of about 8 people at the stone's pub in Indiranagar when we arrived there. The free beer started flowing from the word go. As the intros wen on, the music in the pub had already changed to the 'Iron Maiden' flavour. By 4.30 almost the whole bunch arrived and the pub was filled with only us, the bloggers who were familiar to each other only by their screen names. Today, it was a task of matching the correct face to the correct blog although to be honest, I haven't seen most of their blogs. It was nice to see many non-rockers too among the bunch, who just came for the blogging part of it. Special mention must be made of the guys who travelled miles from far away cities just for this meeting. The Iron Maiden quiz was a great touch from the part of the organisers. Spend quite a long time chatting with many of them. Hope to see them all morrow there at Palace grounds as we chant 'Maiden Maiden'. Also hope to see the non-rockers at the next blogger's meets.

After the meeting, I headed to brigade road to meet all those old rocker buddies from Trivandrum. It was another round of the 'pub bharo' andholan which happened there. The whole street was filled with Maiden fans wearing all kind of Maiden Ts. In between, I bought my special Maiden T for morrow's concert. Couples were out on full strength, holding hands and walking along proudly. The members of the 'Indian culture club' wearing saffron robes were nowhere to be seen. There were so many waiting to show them the middle finger, nut sadly they didn't make an appearance. To, Ram sene and your saffron bros, remain in the same hole that you hid today for the rest of your life. Don't ever dare to come out. Our shoes are ready to smash your faces and kick your asses. BTW, You are always welcome to the Iron Maiden concert. You will get to see a crowd of more than 50,000 'western influenced' guys and gals. And do shout a slogan against that. That will be the last you see of this beautiful earth...

So, Iron Maiden fans...Up the Irons...The day of reckoning is here...

Fear of the dark...Fear of the dark...I've a constant fear that someone's always near...
Scream for me Bangaloooooooooooooooooooooooore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your crusader Praveen

Muthalicage in Moralore,Hail Yeddyulence!

chaddition v - the condition of receiving loads of pink chaddis in your mailbox everyday.

Muthaliage v - On the road marriage to your girlfriend without any pre planning.

Muthalicage v - On the road marriage to a stranger. This can happen if u stand too close to a person of the opposite sex, in public. Eg- Thankappan was muthalicaged to supermodel rakhi while he was begging on MG Road last saturday.

Moralore n - An Utopian state ruled by King Muthalik. Men and women in this place never have seen each other in ages. There are separate roads, hotels, shops, buses etc. for each sex. No kind of celebrations are allowed and everybody has to get in their homes by 6 PM. The curbs on the light life are extended to evenings, afternoons and mornings too.

Yeddyulence v - Silent approval and moral support given to antisocial activities and activists by a person in a responsible position.

The above words are the latest additions to Pravster's concise dictionary.

Lovearia Hua

Are you madly in love with someone? Are you facing stiff opposition from your family members against this relation? Do you have a future father-in-law who says 'I'll marry her off to a beggar rather than to u"? Then here's your golden chance to fulfill your dreams, an once in a lifetime opportunity. Just fix up a date with your partner on Valentine's day somewhere in urban Karnataka. Or simply catch a bus to one of these places, get down and walk along the road holding hands. Your saviour will appear from nowhere with his shiny bald head. Pramod Muthalik, the king of the masses and the protector of Indian culture is here to help you. Now, you don't have to fear anything. You just have to obey what him and his 'sena' says. You'll be taken to the registrar's office, free of cost. The garlands and the flower petals for the occasion would be exclusively from Muthalik's 'romantic' garden. According to him, they are even arranging for some video cameramen to capture this momentous occasion in your life. Your marriage will be solemnised with the blessings of 'head priest' Muthalik. After the marriage you'll be given a gift packet containing Muthalik's Valentine limited edition perfumes, free entry & free drink passes to high profile pubs in Karnataka and a stick to beat up young girls who frequent the pubs. Also the groom with be provided with a lifetime membership to the Ramsena and the bride will be inducted into the newly formed sitasena, for which they are currently on a frantic search to add new members. The National Women's commision member Nirmala Ventakesh, who conducted the Mangalore pub incident enquiry has agreed to be the CAO(Chief Attacking Officer) of Sitasena.
Now you may ask, why this godsend gem of a human being is doing all this for you. Yes, he's got a reason. Muthalik, a 5th standard drop-out had a crush on a 4th standard girl. Once, on a Valentine day they went to a local pub and was drinking 'foster' lassi. Little Muthalik slowly held her hand and asked, "Will you be mine? Here's my gift to you-a pink saree." There was a loud sound of a slap. Foster lassi was poured on Muthalik's head. He saw his hairs also flowing down along with it. From that day, he was bald. The girl was actually not in love with him. She just wanted to visit a pub. And thought the ugly fellow next door will be a perfect companion. Poor little Muthalik mistook it. From that day, he decided to be a gay and started a gay's association. Since it was unacceptable to be gay in India during the pre-dostana days, he named it after a God and fooled everyone. The sight of a couple drove him mad and he thought marrying them off can spoil all the fun considering the increasing divorce rates in India. He's also developed this habit of cross dressing and prefers pink chaddis. He's now ecstatic that he's getting so many pink chaddis to last a lifetime for his whole sena. Latest reports are that he has demanded some extra accessories along with pink chaddis.

your Crusader Praveen

I am the law

Make way for me
Act shy for me
Here I come to get you
guess, who am I?

I go mad at the modern
Its a fad I picked up at the godown
Here I run to beat you
guess, who am I?

short skirts, go to hell
rock shows, shut up well
late nights, not at all
Now dont shout that I didn't tell!

Still thinking, who am I?
I am hip, am happening
I am in the news, am everywhere
I am the custodian of Indian culture.

I can slap you, I can rape you
No one questions, no one answers
I make the rules, I define morals
No one dare question, cos I dont have an answer.

......Now, one question from me to these custodians of Indian culture. What is Indian culture?

I know I would never get an answer from these cultureless organisations like Ram sena, Bhajrang dal and the rest. The scenes from Mangalore were shocking to say the least. And still the perpetrators walk free. Hope 5 years down the line, we don't have to see a local taliban in Mangalore.

PS-Heard that the chief sucker of Ram sena Pramod Muthalik was arrested.

Bharat Mata by M.F.Hussain
Saffron army's Bin Laden Swamiji

Intolerant!!!

After reading this post, u may think that am an anti- hindu. I dint particularly impress the Hindus by speaking bad about the revered Mataji Nirmala Devi. But, let me make one thing clear now itself. Am a god fearing Hindu myself. Am writing all these posts from the viewpoint of a normal human being, who thinks beyond any caste, creed or race. So read on...

India is becoming a hard place to live in, day by day. Our soceity is becoming increasingly intolerant. A case in point is the recent widespread attack on art and artists by the saffron brigade, who proclaim themselves as the caretakers of the great Indian culture. The BJP, Vishwa Hindu Parishad, Shiv Sena, Bajrang Dal and the other similar dirty bunches have taken it upon themselves to clean up our country of everything that goes against our so called tradition and culture. There were attack on art exhibitions at many places, most notably at MS University Vadodara's fine arts gallery. Bajrang Dal activists barged into the gallery and vandalised the student's paintings. In another incident, VHP and Bhajrang Dal activists attacked the Golden art gallery in Surat for allegedly exhibiting blasphemous paintings. The reason they gave for all this atrocious behaviour is that it hurt their religious sentiments. I have a question to ask to them, ''Is your religion so weak as to get hurt by some simple paintings?'' Religion is about belief, its not about idol worship.. Religion is about being tolerant not about vandalism. These uneducated blind believers should understand that art is something as divine as the God they worship.

The recent protests against India's greatest artist M.F.Hussain are also being carried out by this very own saffron army. He's been a victim of their attack for a long time. It is sad to note that there are no people mature enough in all these hindu organisations to guide their illiterate followers in the right path. Instead, these senior leaders themselves are making them do these attacks. There's much more to the 'Nude Saraswathi' than the nudity it displays. The last thing that might have come to Hussain's mind while painting it is the nudity.

My own explanation for the 'Nude Saraswathi' painting is that ''nudity is the purest and most divine form of any living being. When God created us, he dint give us clothes. Those are material things we acquired later on. So by depicting a God/Godess in nude, the artist might be trying to convey to the people the purest form of God.'' Hussain might have been trying to convey a different meaning. So much of thought and imagination goes into that genius's paintings. But, when our religious army sees the painting, their eyes would go straight to the lady's private parts on display. WHY? Because, thats the way they are used to looking at woman. One who wears red glasses will see even a dove as red in colour. These people should learn to look at the bigger picture. No artist would purposefully try to hurt religious sentiments. They are attacking all this without even studying the meaning of these paintings.

What is more disheartening is the attitude of the police. What they did after the attack at Vadodara University was to arrest the student who did the painting. The guys who carried out the attack were talking jubiliantly and threateningly in front of the press. The Dean of the arts faculty, who showed the guts to support the student was reprimanded by the University Vice chancellor. Its no secret that the VC was appointed by the uncrowned king of saffronisation, Mr.Narendra Modi. This kind of moral policing is a shame for our great country. This is not our culture[which they are boasting of protecting] or our tradition. We were once called the most tolerant soceity in the world. Now we are slowly losing that name. One week back, there was a murderous assault on a preacher right in front of his house. The faces of prominent VHP leaders, who carried out the attack were caught on camera. Still, the police didn't take any action for more than 10 days.

These kind of attacks make us no different from those intolerant-as-hell islamic countries. The prophet mohammed cartoon controversy is still fresh in mind. This moral policing is not limited to arts alone. The Shiv Sena has made it an annual affair to burn greeting cards and carryout attack on young couples on Valentines day. They also regularly visit parks and other public places to drive away young couples. Who gave them the license to do all this? Is there something wrong in celebrating love? Is there something wrong in two people kissing, with mutual permission? Its all wrong according to them. Everything western is wrong. Rock concerts are bad. Ghazal is muslim music. So it should also be attacked[Remember the attack on a famous pakistani ghazal singer's concert some years back]. They raised a hue and cry when A.R.Rahman released Vande Mataram. Their line of thinking was that Rahman being a muslim was purposefully trying to show disrespect to our national song. Its another matter that he's one of the most patriotic musicians India has ever produced. That day is not far away when the saffron army declares that music is against our beliefs. So lets burn all cassettes and close down all the music shops. This is exactly what is happening in Pakistan right now. The music shop owners there are now selling vegetables. There are reports that all music shops in some provinces are closed down because of pressure from hardcore Islamic organisations. Even teaching music is banned in some of the Pakistani universities.

If u dont want to see India in that state we should resist this saffron army. If u still want to hear Floyd, Nirvana and Rahman, if u still want to feast your eyes on divine works of art and if u still want to kiss your girlfriend, you gotta say ''FUCK OFF'' to these moral policing...

NB- The writer is a devout Hindu who hates the hindu political organisations who boasts of fighting for the cause of Hindusim

your crusader Praveen