The Blames of India(BOI) dated 12th March 2125 reports that this is going to be a landmark election in the history of India. For the first time in 50 years, men are allowed to contest in the elections. The last man to contest in the election was Bingo Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi's son-in-law who won by a mammoth margin in the elections of 2076. In that year, India proudly announced to the world that its doing away with caste and religion based reservation thus ushering in a new golden era. Instead, the reservations will be completely based on the gender. The seat reservations in Parliament were as follows.
Women-68%
Eunuchs-18%
[Train based eunuchs-10%
traffic light based eunuchs-5%
street based eunuchs-2%
home based eunuchs-1%]
Gays-5%
lesb-5%
Bi-1%
morphed swamis-2%
men-1%
It all started way back in 2009 with a proposal for 33% reservation for women in Parliament. Infact, the idea was there even before that. But the actions necessary for it to come into force started only in 2009. Although there was a lot of opposition from septugenarian and octogenarian male leaders, the idea of empowerment of women seemed too romantic to resist for most of the parties. It was said that this 33% bill will help the lady fish vendor, the old servant lady and even the happless prostitutes. Stories of how women in every strata of the society will be empowered by this simple 33% reservation in parliament, were doing the rounds. And to grab eyeballs, there were those oft repeated stories of women soaring high, from being an aircraft pilot to thenga ideel(malayalam for felling of coconuts by climbing up the coconut tree, which is usually done by men). And most of the times the second part of the thenga ideel story where the woman falls down along with the coconut, was conveniently forgotten.
The bill was passed with much fanfare. Men waited impatiently for their daughters and wives to become MPs and airhostesses or atleast a thenga ideelukaari. Sadly, the changes were not so visible. The surnames of the women MPs remained the same. The same families exported MPs year after year. Some parties fielded rubber stamp candidates of the ilk of 'Rabri Devi' to fill up their women quota. These women almost always won and most of them used to do a Puja of the icon of uselessness and rubber stampdom, Prathibha Patil, every morning before the Parliament session. The lady fish vendor was still selling fish(Infact her grand daughter is now a famous fish vendor too), the servant lady was still doing her chores and the prostitute taking enough actions and policies for 'customer satisfaction'. And banner headlines on the empowered women routinely came on most dailies.
For more empowerment, the percentage of reservation for women was gradually increased. Also, reservations were brought in for marginalised sections like eunuchs, gays etc. The male MPs gradually began losing their jobs. They came back to their hometowns and started doing work which were usually done by women. This newly arrived male workforce resulted in most of the women(except MPs) losing their jobs. Thus the Indian women was truely empowered. By 2078, men were completely driven out of the Parliament. And more poor women lost their jobs. For the next 40 odd years, there was a clamour from the women of India for 33% reservation for men in Parliament. The moustache sporting women inside Parliament strongly refused. But, when push came to shove, they gave in and thus in the elections of 3025, men are finally making a comeback. The 33% reservation for men is still pending for approval from both houses. Prominent women leaders like Mulayam Devi and Lalooni Prasad are strongly opposing the bill. We can just hope that men will atleast make a comeback to the Parliament which they once ruled and ruined...And also hope that atleast then women of the ilk of 'baalika vadhu' and 'never-been-screwed granny' will be truely empowered.
PS- Am not an MCP. Just that I believe this 33% sham's not gonna make the desired change
PPS- Had a tough time writing the president's name. I had completely forgotten her name and had to think for 3 minutes to get it. Tells a lot about our president
your crusader Praveen
Women-68%
Eunuchs-18%
[Train based eunuchs-10%
traffic light based eunuchs-5%
street based eunuchs-2%
home based eunuchs-1%]
Gays-5%
lesb-5%
Bi-1%
morphed swamis-2%
men-1%
It all started way back in 2009 with a proposal for 33% reservation for women in Parliament. Infact, the idea was there even before that. But the actions necessary for it to come into force started only in 2009. Although there was a lot of opposition from septugenarian and octogenarian male leaders, the idea of empowerment of women seemed too romantic to resist for most of the parties. It was said that this 33% bill will help the lady fish vendor, the old servant lady and even the happless prostitutes. Stories of how women in every strata of the society will be empowered by this simple 33% reservation in parliament, were doing the rounds. And to grab eyeballs, there were those oft repeated stories of women soaring high, from being an aircraft pilot to thenga ideel(malayalam for felling of coconuts by climbing up the coconut tree, which is usually done by men). And most of the times the second part of the thenga ideel story where the woman falls down along with the coconut, was conveniently forgotten.
The bill was passed with much fanfare. Men waited impatiently for their daughters and wives to become MPs and airhostesses or atleast a thenga ideelukaari. Sadly, the changes were not so visible. The surnames of the women MPs remained the same. The same families exported MPs year after year. Some parties fielded rubber stamp candidates of the ilk of 'Rabri Devi' to fill up their women quota. These women almost always won and most of them used to do a Puja of the icon of uselessness and rubber stampdom, Prathibha Patil, every morning before the Parliament session. The lady fish vendor was still selling fish(Infact her grand daughter is now a famous fish vendor too), the servant lady was still doing her chores and the prostitute taking enough actions and policies for 'customer satisfaction'. And banner headlines on the empowered women routinely came on most dailies.
For more empowerment, the percentage of reservation for women was gradually increased. Also, reservations were brought in for marginalised sections like eunuchs, gays etc. The male MPs gradually began losing their jobs. They came back to their hometowns and started doing work which were usually done by women. This newly arrived male workforce resulted in most of the women(except MPs) losing their jobs. Thus the Indian women was truely empowered. By 2078, men were completely driven out of the Parliament. And more poor women lost their jobs. For the next 40 odd years, there was a clamour from the women of India for 33% reservation for men in Parliament. The moustache sporting women inside Parliament strongly refused. But, when push came to shove, they gave in and thus in the elections of 3025, men are finally making a comeback. The 33% reservation for men is still pending for approval from both houses. Prominent women leaders like Mulayam Devi and Lalooni Prasad are strongly opposing the bill. We can just hope that men will atleast make a comeback to the Parliament which they once ruled and ruined...And also hope that atleast then women of the ilk of 'baalika vadhu' and 'never-been-screwed granny' will be truely empowered.
PS- Am not an MCP. Just that I believe this 33% sham's not gonna make the desired change
PPS- Had a tough time writing the president's name. I had completely forgotten her name and had to think for 3 minutes to get it. Tells a lot about our president
your crusader Praveen
10 comments:
Actually its not such a bad idea Praveen. More women into the pathways of political power does argue well for our future. Women can bring forth social changes much easier and quicker than we men. We have a lot of examples to prove otherwise, like the ones you mentioned, but it is all about making sure the 33% women are true aspiring leaders and not mere puppets like Rabri.
Anyway enjoyed the post, the humour in it. ;)
About our President, the less said the better! I agree man, 2 years after her tenure it will be a Himalayan effort to recollect her name..Such a sad successor for the great Dr. Kalam. :(
Fantastic illustration! At the rate at which things are going, this surely is a possibility!
The only thing I hope is women MPs will make low neck dresses and Biknis a must for all women(I mean beautiful women).
I hope movie ticket fares for movies of Namitha , mallika Shrawath etc. gets slashed
sigh!!!
thenga ideeelkari!! ROFL!!! :D
this post, if taken in the rite spirit (which i do), has to be complimented. very well written... good imagination :-)
and yes this has happened to me... i've forgotten the President's name too... had to think really hard to get her name once! sigh... there goes the reputation and dignity Kalam brought to the position :-/
all the same, I'd say... dont be tooooo sarcastic Praveen... give it sometime. not sure how much change this is gonna bring.. its too early to say. but write it off yet either dude. lets wait n watch...
aliya kollaam
Brilliant post ))
@scorpiogenius
Yea, I do agree with that. If the right persons do come up with this, am all for it...!
@rakesh
yea!!u bet :D
@jon
cheriya aagraham aanallo moneeee :D
@aswathy
yea.Its too early to write it off. these r my first thoughts on this. may change in the future ;) Glad that you took it in the right spirit unlike some ladies in our company blog who called me a cynical maniacal MCP :p
@aditya
thalle ithaaru :D wyelcomeeee
@amitabh
thanks man :)
the icon of uselessness and rubber stampdom, Prathibha Patil!..lol
You've created a new geanre and I call it futuristic pol-fiction...enjoyed the post.
Reservations of any kind are without a merit base are always anti-productive...I've always said taht the 'general category' in this country will soon need reservations and same applies to men at the rate we are going. Why not amend the dowry harassment section instead and put a more deterring punishment?
So dont worry you dont have to be an MCP to write this post.
@akshaya
hehehe,,I was thinking whther am repeating myself with this style of futuristic pol writing :P
good to knw that u do suscribe to this view. yeah, this kind of reservation effectively is seeing women as second class citizens
Yes, Praveen you were becoming very predictable by your writing stlye(future polls) but you broke it nicely in the your next blog! It is a nice innovation but would ask you to use it less frequently! :)
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