In economics, austerity is when a national government reduces its spending, to pay back creditors. Austerity is usually required when a government's fiscal deficit spending is felt to be unsustainable.
(source:wikipedia)
Its the season of austerity. The Government's austerity drive is being promoted to the hilt that I doubt if the promotion campaign for the same might have eaten up atleast a few crores. And the drive itself is said to be a costly affair, an example being the Italian holy cow's economy air travel costing crores of rupees for extra special security. So, to make up for this extra expense which is needed to support the austerity drive, there ought to be some measures to balance it all out. So, the axe falls obviously on the common man. What might be the possible measures that wll transform India to an 'Auster India'? Lets take a look.
1. All government run schools should be moved out of its present buildings into unused farmhouses. The classes here will be henceforth known as 'cattle classes'. This measure will reduce the un necessary current and water charges incurred at the present buildings.
2. The films division documentary team should be revamped. Unnecessary clothing should be avoided. Same has to be done with the state run Doordarshan. This will reduce the spending on luxurious clothing and also bring in more revenues because of the resultant adult content.
3. Austerity need not be in monetary terms alone. Its applicable for spermitary matters too. Anyone having more than 5 kids(post 2008) should be made to operate a public condom vending machine in front of his house.
4. The loss making Air India be exchanged with Vijay Mallya for a carton of Kingfisher strong. Its a profit making deal for the government, mind you.
5. There's no need for streetlights. A packet of happydent white should be supplied to all families through ration shops. With this, every person will become a travelling light source.
6. Reduce the amount of veg and non veg items in the Indian railway meals. Right now, we are getting the luxury of a quarter leg in chickn curry, half a vegetable in sambhar and eggless egg bhurjis. Instead of giving coffee in cups, its better to pour it straight into the passenger's cupped hands, just like in olden times.
7. Free all the terrorists in Indian jails. There's no point in spending so much money on luxuries for them if you dont have any plans of killing them.
(source:wikipedia)
Its the season of austerity. The Government's austerity drive is being promoted to the hilt that I doubt if the promotion campaign for the same might have eaten up atleast a few crores. And the drive itself is said to be a costly affair, an example being the Italian holy cow's economy air travel costing crores of rupees for extra special security. So, to make up for this extra expense which is needed to support the austerity drive, there ought to be some measures to balance it all out. So, the axe falls obviously on the common man. What might be the possible measures that wll transform India to an 'Auster India'? Lets take a look.
1. All government run schools should be moved out of its present buildings into unused farmhouses. The classes here will be henceforth known as 'cattle classes'. This measure will reduce the un necessary current and water charges incurred at the present buildings.
2. The films division documentary team should be revamped. Unnecessary clothing should be avoided. Same has to be done with the state run Doordarshan. This will reduce the spending on luxurious clothing and also bring in more revenues because of the resultant adult content.
3. Austerity need not be in monetary terms alone. Its applicable for spermitary matters too. Anyone having more than 5 kids(post 2008) should be made to operate a public condom vending machine in front of his house.
4. The loss making Air India be exchanged with Vijay Mallya for a carton of Kingfisher strong. Its a profit making deal for the government, mind you.
5. There's no need for streetlights. A packet of happydent white should be supplied to all families through ration shops. With this, every person will become a travelling light source.
6. Reduce the amount of veg and non veg items in the Indian railway meals. Right now, we are getting the luxury of a quarter leg in chickn curry, half a vegetable in sambhar and eggless egg bhurjis. Instead of giving coffee in cups, its better to pour it straight into the passenger's cupped hands, just like in olden times.
7. Free all the terrorists in Indian jails. There's no point in spending so much money on luxuries for them if you dont have any plans of killing them.
your crusader Praveen
12 comments:
lol, the last one was punchy, especially :)
I'm eagerly waiting for this drama to come to an end. On one side Ministers like Kamal Nath is on a luxury globe trotting in the name of road-shows, living on hi-end hotel suites. I'm not arguing that Austerity is a bad idea but when it is done by politicians with agenda, it becomes farcicial.
Poor common passengers, now they've to tolerate these lousy politicos on trains and economy class on flights.. What crime did we do to deserve all these man??
whoa...man quite a strong post... but somehow brought a smile on my face :)
omg!!!!!! hahahah!!! FANTASTIC! :D loved it!
dont know from where u dig up such ideas!!
uber cool suggestions.. :):) liked it
classic dude!!!!!!!!!
loved it!!!!!!
and the sarcastic tone to the post is just brilliant!!!!!
Good one! 1 and 5 especially!
Our poor nation is already burdened with too many problems to be further burdened by the austerity of our leaders. I agree with all your suggestions, except about schools. In our state, schools in villages do not indulge in luxuries such as electricity, water, or even four walls and a ceiling; so shifting them to farmhouses will be actually more expensive.
OMG.. what a critic u r :-o
Lol @ 1. cattle classes.. even if thats gonna happen.. some politician,while campaigning would come and promise for free electricity,free water supply etc etc.. that would again make the farm house a full furnished atm ;)
@ 2. thank god u mentioned "unnecessary" clothing :P
@ 3. condom vending machine. hehehe. instead there should be a rule that no Indian should have more than two kids.
@ 4. exchange to a carton of kingfisher strong? don't u think thats too tooo much for even a deal?
@ 5. yeah.. happydent! seriously, wish there really was any chewing gum which on reaction with saliva, would illumine.
@ 6. "eggless egg burji's " ?? ! and y pour into the cupped hands.. so much of coffee will drop down before it goes into the mouth.. it could directly be poured into the person's mouth,right? ;)
@ 7. ya.. why should a terrorist lead a luxurious life :P if they r left free.. That would help in reducing our country's population not minding the increase in the mortality rate.
:P :P :P
Praveen, your insights are truly innovative! Hope Tharoor sees this!:)
@scorpiogenous
thts exctly my point...wud've been gr8 if they were really having such noble intentions:D
@agent vv
tht serves my purpose:P
@ashwathy
politicians make me dig quite a lot:P
@preeti
thnks :D
@ordinary guy
thnks man :D
@rockus
and not agreeing with the last point?my fav one that is:D
@doctoratlarge
agree with that. I understood it only after writing this. the govt schools r already suffering from this that they r almost like cattle sheds even now...so I got it wrong:d
@v archana
waah! thts quite an analysis...superb points:D
@potpourri4mysoul
i wish!!!!
:) Perfectly put...
"Poor common passengers, now they've to tolerate these lousy politicos on trains and economy class on flights.. What crime did we do to deserve all these man??"....
lol,loved this comment :)
:) Perfectly put...
"Poor common passengers, now they've to tolerate these lousy politicos on trains and economy class on flights.. What crime did we do to deserve all these man??"....
lol,loved this comment :)
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