Sakhi ka bhayankar Swayamvar

Sakhi Rawant. She's the heartthrob of millions. She has such a brilliant brain that the makers of google once visited her and requested her not to venture into the field of science and technology. Yes, they were scared that she would end their monopoly. She's so well versed in world affairs that she thinks Indiana is the capital of India. Take a look at this scene when she was reading newspaper last week. No, she doesn't subscribe to a newspaper. This bit of paper came to her wrapped around an aloo samosa.

"I ran elections a farce: Bush"
and now lets take a look at her thought process-
"What should I do if you ran the elections? And atleast learn the proper spelling of such a simple word as force."

One of her aunties recently gave an interview to dudlines today, India's No.1 newsentertainment channel. She fondly remembers Sakhi's childhood, when she developed this deep aversion to clothes. She was not always like this. Until she was 5 years old, Sakhi used to cover herself up from head to toe in woollen clothes even in summer. She used to even take bath with her clothes on. It all changed one day when she saw this rousing speech by a senior journalist in good old doordarshan. He was talking about 'press freedom' and poor Sakhi who was intelligent from birth heard it as 'dress freedom'. She threw away all her clothes and appointed herself as the world ambassador for dress freedom.

She had also developed many indigenous ideas to stay in the spotlight. One is obviously to follow the 'spotlight' relentlessly around the globe, until the tired 'spotlight' gives it up and rests upon her. Other ideas are like slapping her boyfriend in public, crying foul over lip locks and unlocks and ofcourse, item numbers. But all that pales in comparison to the latest master stroke from Sakhi Rawant- 'Sakhi ka swayamvar'. The wild lady has atlast decided to marry and being Sakhi, she wants to do it in her own crazy way. She has decided to do a reality tv style swayamvar in the latest entertainment channel, eNDineeTV unIMAGINEable*. Lakhs of intelligent good looking gentlemen from around the country applied to get into the show. In the end, Yamraj decided to give 'hell' to 16 of them. And, thus started the biggest spectacle in Indian television, the fineprint of which is "Will somebody please carry this burden home?"

The swayamvar reportedly started this week and is already topping the 'Tastelessly Rocking Programs(TRP)' charts. I was thinking on the various reasons for so many of India's youngsters taking this drastic step of applying for this show. The most obvious one is that the latest poisons available in the market are duplicate and ineffective. So, people are finding better ways to suicide, one of which is to take part in this show. Another might be a real bad girlfriend who slaps not only the guy but also his Father. Some might be there just for the spotlight. I really hope there's one guy who's there to pull a trick on Sakhi. And, I wish he somehow wins the show and when she runs with the garland towards him, he shows her the finger and walk off triumphantly. Only that will give peace to Vyasa maharshi who introduced the idea of Swayamvara in Mahabharatha. There was actually a report in HNN IBN, the official news channel in heaven, that Yama is planning to send Vyasa back to earth so that he could do a shift+delete of the 'swayamvara' part in Mahabharatha.

*eNDineeTV- literal translation in malayalam means 'what this TV is for?'

PS-eNDineeTV inIMAGINEable has no Relation with NDTV Imagine. The author has never ever heard of a lady named Rakhi Sawant or a show named 'Rakhi ka Swayamvar'.

pic courtesy-flickr

your crusader Praveen