Assbook,Farkut and Shwitter-Networking unleashed

Year 2049 ( not taking 2050 because everything is uncool after Harman Bhaweja uses it)

"I saw my grandmother for the first time today"
- Raj, a 50 year old's status message on the popular social networking site 'Assbook'.

"I never knew my house had a door through which I can get outside. Hey, I never knew there existed a world outside my home. But, I didn't see anyone alive outside."
- Samir, a 20 year old's status message in the networking site 'Farkut'(the 2nd vowel and the alphabet preceeding it is silent in the name)

"God, I just heard about a hurricane that lashed all over a country called USA. I feel sorry for the people there. Thank God, am in America."
-George, a 30 year old's latest message in the micro messaging site 'Shwitter'. This happened to be his last message there.

"Daisy said its safe because she's on pills"
-Shanth, a 5 year old kid famous for his anger, puts this message in the site 'Parending'


Nowadays, many people spent half of their life in on or the other social networking sites. When the orkut fad started way back in college, I thought everyone's excitement about the new medium will die down in a few days. But, it has only increased manifold with even sites in local languages catering to the kuttappans and thankappans of social networking. Facebook overtook orkut in popularity. Then came the path breaking micro messaging service, twitter. All of a sudden every filthy celebrity worth his/her salt is seen on twitter, creating records with the number of followers. Its a syndrome of 'Oh-u-r-so-uncool-if-u-r-not-on-twitter' all of a sudden. People have started updating the status of whatever they are doing right then online, to be read by their friends as well as millions of others on the net. With the convenience of updating status even from a mobile phone, we have some really wonderful realtime status messages to view everyday. Some samples.

"Right now having a hard time at the loo. Hope to finish this by EOD(End Of Day, for the uninitiated)"-Software engineer updating from the nearest restroom.

"Sending this update under trying cicumstances. Girlfriend has got one of her legs on my chests and a broomstick in one of her hands."

"The patient is crying out of pain. Forgot to give him the anaesthetic. Anyway its late, so thought I would let you all know this"- update from a doctor.

"Just baffled the interviewer with my quick wit. He's waiting for me to finish this tweet update"- youth at an interview.


Its all going to a point where people can never even think of living without this. Every small thing you do is paraded before the world as a soap opera. People talk more to the PC than their immediate neighbour. As the world shrinks, people are also shrinking inside. I may sound pessimistic. The Orwellian fan inside me makes me think that the whole internet is a big thought control mechanism where slowly your mind is made a slave without you even knowing it. A 6 pack body with a slavish mind is useless and slowly but completely you fall under the control. You become the addict. You get withdrawal symptoms when you stay away. You submit fully to it. More and more people fall into the trap. The world will be full of thought controlled zombies who call themselves humans. Then, the real dark villain will arise and call himself the owner of the internet and thus in a way the owner of your soul too.

The previous para was a doomsday scenario which occurs in my brain right after 12 AM everyday. The reality may not come much close to this. But it can never be ruled out. A generation of social networking slaves who have never seen a human alive in real life...

image courtesy-contrib.andrew.cmu.edu